Embracing Boredom: Why It's Uncomfortable and Why We Need It
The Shock Experiment: How We Avoid Boredom
Let me kick things off with a story that still makes me chuckle, not in a haha way but a concerned uncomfortable way. Imagine being put in a room with nothing but a button. A button that delivers an electric shock. You’re told, “Do nothing. Just sit there and let your mind wander. But, if you must, you can press the button and shock yourself.” And guess what? A shockingly high number of people (pun fully intended) chose the button! Nearly 60% of men and 30% of women couldn’t handle sitting with their own minds—so they opted for pain instead. Pain over boredom! (If you're curious, you can read more about this fascinating study can read more about it here.)
(Nederkoorn C, Vancleef L, Wilkenhöner A, Claes L, Havermans RC. Self-inflicted pain out of boredom. Psychiatry Res. 2016 Mar 30;237:127-32. doi: 10.1016/j.psychres.2016.01.063. Epub 2016 Jan 28. PMID: 26847946.)
What does this tell us? Well, it tells us that the initial drop in stimulation feels like a gaping void—like a chasm we desperately want to fill. We’d prefer something, anything, even discomfort, over simply being alone with ourselves. Isn’t it marvelous, in a twisted sort of way, how much we avoid simply being? (If you're curious, you can read more about this fascinating study here.)
The Benefits of Leaning Into Boredom
But here’s the beautiful part: the mind is a rather flexible creature. If we deprive it of constant stimulation, it doesn’t collapse into despair—it adjusts. It finds a new rhythm. Imagine being on a boat, and at first, the rocking feels overwhelming. But soon, you find your sea legs. The mind, too, finds balance—a homeostasis. If you lower the external stimulation, you start to notice that the baseline—the simple contentment of just being—begins to feel pretty darn good. You need less to be happy, and happiness comes more easily. The law of diminishing returns suddenly works in your favor, and it’s wonderful.
The Default Mode Network and the Beauty of Stillness
Ah, but there’s another part of this story—something called the “default mode network,” or DMN. Picture this: inside your mind, there’s an orchestra. The DMN is like the conductor. Now, when we are stressed, depressed, distracted, or overwhelmed, this conductor is a bit of a tyrant, keeping the music too rigid, and suppressing the creativity of the musicians.
But when we enter boredom regularly, when we sit without distractions, the DMN allows for something magical. It stops being rigid and starts to experiment. The musicians start to improvise, to explore, to find new melodies. Instead of the same old song, there is jazz—a creative, reflective, and often surprising harmony. When we allow boredom, we give the mind permission to wander, to create, to connect dots we didn’t even know existed.
Boredom, Creativity, and Self-Reflection
The benefits of embracing boredom are extraordinary. When we aren’t constantly filling every moment with something—when we resist the temptation to press the proverbial shock button—our creativity blossoms. We become reflective, gaining insight into ourselves, our lives, and the world. We begin to think of others more deeply, to see our interconnectedness, to understand our place in this dance of existence.
A Reminder to Myself
Alright, let's get real here: I am hilariously bad at this. I it isn't the buzz-buzz of notifications, shiny distractions, and the magnetic pull of screens, I would still find myself making myself busy with hobbies, overthinking, elaborate DIY projects, or pointless organization sprees, and endlessly chasing stimulation.
So, trust me, this isn't just some wise guru advice for you—it's a big ol' sticky note reminder for me. It’s a wild, ongoing adventure to carve out space for stillness, to let boredom have its say, and to actually listen to it instead of reaching for my phone.
Practical Ways to Embrace Boredom: A Matter of Priority
Embracing boredom starts with making it a priority in your life—just like all the other things on your to-do list, like going to the gym or taking your vitamins. In the pre-internet days, or maybe even pre-capitalism days, this kind of mental space might have happened naturally in our lives. But in this modern age, we have to actively fight for it.
It means being willing to sacrifice some screen time to give yourself genuine mental rest. It’s a perspective, a conscious choice to slow down. Imagine it like a good painting; you need space for the image to breathe, for the beauty to truly stand out. Without those empty spaces, everything becomes cluttered and overwhelming. The same is true for our minds—we need those moments of stillness, those gaps of boredom, to make room for creativity and peace.
Now, how do we do this, you ask? How do we invite boredom in, like an old friend we haven’t seen in a while?
Meditation: Yes, yes, the classic. But there’s a reason it’s classic. Meditation is like a gym for the mind, training it to sit still, to be content without needing a show to watch or a snack to eat.
Reading a Book: Not the short-attention-span reading we do online, but a real book—one that requires patience. The kind that draws you in slowly, where the reward is in the journey, not in a quick payoff.
Taking a Bath: Allow yourself to just be. Let the warmth soak in, and resist the urge to grab your phone or read something. Just sit.
Mindful Walking: Leave your phone behind. Walk, notice, listen. The birds, the wind, the crunch of your feet on the ground—let these simple things be enough.
Boredom doesn’t need to be feared. It’s not the enemy. In fact, by making peace with boredom, by welcoming it in and letting it sit at our table, we open the door to creativity, peace, and true presence. It’s about balance, —learning to be content without the bells and whistles, learning to let the mind play, to let the music flow. So next time boredom knocks, don’t shut the door. Invite it in, pour it a cup of tea, and see what wonders might follow.
